My Scrubs Quotes (with Pics & Sounds)
(Turk recalls times when he's been singled out through childhood)
[Present time]
Turk: Remember the college book?
JD: so what they put you on the cover
Turk: Twice!
(he points to the book and thier are 2 of him on the cover, in exactly the same pose, wearing the same clothes!!)
-=---=--=--=-=-=
(TO JD)
Janitor: You Look Unhappy, i like That
-=-=--=-=-=--=-=
Kelso: Thanks i owe you one
Dr.Cox:[voice-over] MUST RESIST URGE TO RUB IT IN HIS FACE... MUST RUB SOMETHING IN SOMEONE'S FACE.
[turns to an unconscious patient]
Dr.Cox: So how's that coma going for ya there?
Dr.Cox:[Voiceover]ahhh much better!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==
Kelso:Dr. Cox, did you get my memo stating that residents should wear their lab coats at all times?
Dr.Cox : Yes I did. At first I just threw it away, but then I thought, that's not grand enough a gesture; so I made a model of you out of straw, put my lab coat on it - with your memo in the pocket - and invited the neighborhood kids to set fire to it and beat it with sticks.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
JD: Dr.Cox..
Dr.Cox:Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in my crotch.'.
JD: See Ya!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[Explaining the real world to JD]
Dr.Cox: You've got to wa-a-a-ke up, honey... oh no, you wet the bed again... Why can't I have a normal child without these problems?
=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=
Dr.Cox: They hate you Bob. They hate from the bottom of your hooves to the top of your pitchfork. They hate you. By God, they hate you good.
-=-=-=-=-=-==-=
Dr.Cox: I became a doctor for the same four reasons that everybody does: chicks, money, power, and chicks.
-=-=-=-==-=-=-==-
Janitor: I don't jump out and scare you. I follow you around all day. I only got about an hour and a half of work around here, and the rest of the time I track you, like an animal.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[Elliot and JD are about to bungee jump, and JD is very nervous]
Eliot:Come on, what's the worst that could happen?
JD: We could die
--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
JD: You think Turk would like it if I started calling him 'my brother'?
Carla: I Dont Know
[TURK passes by]
JD: Catch you later... my brutha
Turk: I'll holla.
JD:[To Carla]He said Holla
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Dr.Cox: [on the phone] Sure, Jordan, you can take over the master bathroom. Just make sure you leave my sleeping pills out. So that I could, you know, swallow about 300 of them...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lisa: [after kissing J.D] Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you having a good time?
JD: Actually, it's a roll of quarters.
[Takes out the quarters]
JD: Laundry day.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
JD: Can you get that for me? I can't reach it
JANITOR : Is this some kind of trick to get me off your back. I mean, I owe you one
JD: No, i really need it
JANITOR : Ok, here you go. You know, you could have just asked me to stop harassing you for about a year.
JD: Ok, I want that.
JANITOR : Too late.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=---=-
JD : Why aren't you using the mop I bought you?
JANITOR: I didn't like it.
JD : But you cried!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
JD : What do I know about good relationships? Yesterday I had funeral sex.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Dr.Cox : Hey, Betty. Hey, Wilma. Oh, what the hell, you're only forty minutes late. Do I... do I smell beer?
JD: Uh, we... we, uh, we had a few
Dr.Cox : Newsflash, you can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
JD : [to himself, as Dr. Cox stands next to him at a urinal] Okay, just act natural...
(OUT LOUD) Hey, Dr. Cox. Takin' a whiz?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dr. Cox : I don't want to hear anything out of that man's mouth other than "Oh no, I'm dying, there's a bright light, but wait a minute, this is wrong, I'm in hell! Hitler, Musollini... Captain Kangaroo? That's not right."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Eliot: So hows the Drama queen?
JD: I Dont Know, How Are you?,"Zinnng!"
-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-==--=-=
Dr.Cox : Listen up there molly Menopause
-=====-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=
Dr.Cox : Im Dr.Cox,[Looks at JD] This is my gal pall friday
-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-
Eliot : Please dont leave bed-pans in my locker, it scares me
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JD is stuck in a lift and janitor drops through the top of the lift]
JD : did you just climb down a lift shaft just to torment Me?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[Dr.Kelso walks forward]
Kelso : What Do You Want??!!
JD : Nothing i dont want anything from you ever
Kelso: thats what my son always says, thats untill mothers day comes around and he wants to go halfies on the pasta pot for Enit, shes not my mother dammit!
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Dr.Kelso: now get out my my way, nurse Tidale is wearing ancle socks today!
=--=-=-=--==-=-=--=-=-
Jordan: your only invited because for some reason you have a spongebob squarepants costume
JD: It Was a Gift!
JD: [IN HEAD-Voiceover) From Me Too Me!
---------------------
Elliot: Why can't couples these days just be together, you know?
Sean: Why is always about sex?
Elliot: Yes, Sean, yes!
Sean: You know Freud said that 90% of all human behavior is motivated by sexual impulses. Give me some credit, I would say at least 30% of my behavior is motivated by advertising and the rest by violence in film.
Elliot: For me it's 98% getting my dad to love me and 2% chocolate.
Thx Odysseus You can also check in "post" Area for more of Odysseus suggestions, i wil post more of his here too
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Ben: Hey, JD, my sister, Danni, is more of a gentle kisser, don't you think? But I find that Jordan is a little bit more on the lines of teeth and tongue and fangs.
[hisses]
--=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=--==-=
Ben: [to JD] Ya know something? *You* have slept with both of my sisters. So that means that you and I have something in common.
=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=
Elliot: I have a huge bunion. Sean's coming back in, like, a few weeks what am I supposed to do?
J.D.: Well, I think the obvious answer is to draw Sean's face on it and tell him you grew it because you missed him.
Turk: *Or,* it's a simple surgery.
JD: Uhhh, Turk, I think we've already decided on bunion-face!
Elliot: Cut me the hell up.
JD: Dammit!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=
Nurse Carla Espinosa: Dr Cox... why is your mouth red?
Dr. Cox: Duct tape, two hours in a morgue drawer, don't piss off the janitor. End of story.
-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=
Carla: turk, if i decide to keep my last name after we get marrried, thats no big deal right?
Turk: Of course not baby, we'll just have one of those modern marriages where the cuople dont love eachother.
-------------------------
Turk: its killing me i cant beat this woman no matter what i try, she's like a ninja but worse
JD:Nothing Worse than a ninja ,their masters of every style of combat
------------------
Turk: Carla, JD's my friend but if you want me to kick his ass, i will kick his ass, because i love you
Carla: And because im willing to sleep with you
Turk: Hell Yeah
-------------------
My Favourite of All the lines
Dr. Elliot Reed: Oh, Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Perry Cox: No, Barbie, no... it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively *to* clowns.
---------------------
Elliot: Dr. Cox!
Dr. Cox: I'm hoping for your sake there's another Dr. Cox sitting right behind me.
----------------------
Jordan: It's Jack's first birthday, I want it to be special. I got a petting zoo for the kids, and we need to figure out something great for the adults.
Dr. Cox: How about a russian roulette booth? And here's the kicker, we put bullets in all the chambers, that way *everybody* wins!
-----------------------
JD: Hey there, research buddy!
Dr.Cox: We're only four seconds in and I'm already regretting my decision.
----------------------
Dr.Cox: Hello Sad Clown
----------------------
[JD Has just become a "Doctor" and is wearing a new white coat]
Dr. Kelso: Sharp coat, sport
JD: Yeah, it's spiffy!
----------------------
kelso: Don't you know that you're nothing but a pair of scrubs to me?
----------------------
[todd has just annoyed Carla, Turks Girlfriend]
Turk: what have i told you about annoying carla?,if it came down to you or carla, you know how it would end
Todd: Yes i do..and i thankyou for that
=-=-=--=-=-=
Dr.Cox: I Dont Care if your beeper plays "Who let the dogs out, hoof! hoof!" as many times as ya like
JD: Actually its "who who" but thanks
----=-=-=-=-=-=
Cox: Why in the hell are you wearing a coat?
JD: Because I'm a doctor
Cox: Look Babs, if you are truly worried about people seeing your ass then you just go ahead and do what the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist
-=-==-=-=-=-=-=
Janitor: I was in the military
JD: Where did you come from?
Janitor: If I find out you wearing a bronzy without having served I am going to make things uncomfortable for you
JD: (Coat wearing doctors do not take this crap) You were never in the military
Janitor: Yes, I was
JD: Which branch?
Janitor: The janitor branch
-==-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=
Dr.Cox: I don't know if they taught you this in the land of fairies and puppy dog tails where you obviously, if not grew up, then at least spent most of your summers, but you're in the real world now! N'kay?
-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-==-=
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, this is not bring your problems to work day, this is just work day
-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=
Turk: JD said you were a big ole can of crazy
JD: A little can, a very tiny small can
Turk: You said big can
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Turk: Dude, you are such a loser, man
JD: I think I look spiffy, I am trying to separate myself from the whole pack
Carla: You already have Bambi, you are the biggest geek to ever come through here
Turk: Yeah, he is
-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
JD: Steady now..... be brave..... don't cry
-==-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Elliot: Hey
JD: What are you doing?
Elliot: All the beds are taken. Scoot
JD: Bunk with The Todd!
Elliot: JD, you know that he is a sleep humper
Todd: Sometimes when I'm banging this mattress, I'm thinking about banging that one!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Ted: So you're engaged to that surgeon guy?
Carla: Uh-huh
Ted: Is it serious?
Carla: No Ted, we swing
--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-===-=-
(thx To 0dysseus for this quote)
JD : Anyway, this is the end of a major chapter in our lives and you know what? I am going to take you out tonight, yes sir, we are going to get some dinner, we'll get a nice bottle of wine
Turk : It sounds like you are asking me out on a man-date
JD : Turk, why are you so afraid of loving me?
-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Elliot: No Dr. Murray, I don't want any fries to go with this shake. I don't even know what that means.
Noelle: Excuse me, Dr. Reid
Elliot: What, you want to ask me how many ceiling tiles I've counted this week, or maybe you just want to call me a name like tramp or ho or slesident, which apparently is half slut and half resident
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dr.Cox Really,My God Fiona!
--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Janitor: You're Stupid
JD: That's it?
Janitor: Give it time, it'll eat at ya
[Later]
JD: Am I stupid?
Elliot: Yeah, a little bit
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
JD: You're ex-wife, she's the answer
Cox: Umm, things that ruined my life, things that took half my money, things with sharp edges!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Cox: I am just not going to have you pirouetting around in here while my heart is breaking inside
JD: Sorry
Jordan: You're heart is breaking inside? That's so embarrassing for you
Cox: Thank you for that
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JD Fogets to tape the birth of Dr.cox's Friend's Baby]
Cox: So, in other words there is no permanent historical record of the birth of my friend's baby
JD: I think that the baby itself would serve as proof that it was.... you know.... born
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Cox: Listen up there Molly Menopause, I need you to quiet the hell down, you're scaring everyone in the hospital. I mean, my god, they're delivering a baby upstairs and the poor kid is using the umbilical cord to crawl the hell back in
-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Cox: Okay, I'm Dr. Cox, this is my gal friday, she'll be helping me to take care of you. But before we get underway we are going to need you to ease up on the yakity yak
-===-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==
JD: So basically Mr. Davis, you received a blunt trauma to the fibrous tissue of the corpus cavernosum
Mr. Davis: Great, and that means?
JD: You broke your penis
Mr. Davis: Wow, I can't wait to get my cast signed
-=-=-==-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-
Turk: Dude, why eat medical supplies when you've got pudding and tater tots right here? It makes no sense!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
JD: (As third year residents you really have to stay on top of your interns)
Turk: These right here, you see these names? They are called patients. This one needs brain work, this one needs a heart
JD: This guy needs courage
Turk: Helping or hurting JD, helping or hurting? The point is, they will live or die based on your lame ass post-ops, so please people shape the hell up!
Interns: Yes Dr. Turk
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Elliot: Bruce, this is going to be your third folie cath in a row. You can do this, you didn't need to page me 17 times between the time I bought the rum raisin muffin and then threw it away because alcoholism runs in my family
Bruce: After this morning I just want to make sure I really have this down... [beatbox]
Elliot: What are you doing?
Bruce: Its just a nervous habit, it helps me concentrate
Elliot: You know what helps me concentrate?
Bruce: Me not doing that?
Elliot: No, bunnies
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-==-=-=
Turk: You know, I wish I could be an insensitive cynical robo-doc like you, but unfortunately I don't hate the world enough, you know what I'm saying chief?
Cox: People please stop calling me chief
Dr. Kelso: Hey numbnuts
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Dr.Cox: Let me go ahead and share alittle something special with you that i like to call Perry's perspective: one, if someone is standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and can't decide what they want in the half hour it took to get to the register then i should be allowed to kill them; two, i am fairly sure that if they took porn off the internet, there would only be one website left and it would be called bring back the porn; three, and most importantly of all, the only way to be respected as a doctor and a man is to be an island, you are born alone, you damn sure die alone. isn't that right spike? the point is, and you might want to jot this down, only the weak need help
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[JD's most uncomfortable momenet]
JD's Grandma:What movie are we watching
JD:It's Basic Instinct, Granma."
=---=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
JD: Hey Dr. Cox
Cox: Still no talking in the bathroom newbie. Know what's weird?
JD: That you're allowed to talk?
-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-
Dr.Cox: Well now Maggie, I can only assume you are wiling away the morning cat chatting with your favorite gal pal because you have already finished your pre-rounding
JD: I haven't even started yet
Cox: What?
JD: Gotcha! Finished!
Cox: That's a good one newbie, my heart is racing, you are quite the prankster
JD: I could tell you some stories
Cox: And if there is a god in heaven, you never will. This is Mrs. Grayson's chart, her private practice doctor just showed up so I am off this one
JD: Is there anything I need to do for her lung nodule?
Cox: Oh, I don't know, what do you say you start her off on 20 cc's of it's not my problem anymore
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-==-=
Todd: Dude, what were her boobs like?
Elliot: Todd, I am standing right here
Todd: I'm sorry, what are your boobs like?
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[Tracy just came off the phone]
Tracy hey Elliot,ok first impression did i skim micheal off?
Elliot No..
Dr.Cox No! Not if he enjoys a big fat cup of crazy!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[Turk is Sitting in Dr.kelsos favourite bench to eat lunch]
Dr.Kelso:(slightly angry) nice Spot
Turk: Yes Sir it is
Dr.kelso(sa)I Usualy try to get out here for lunch everyday at 12:30
Turk Ya Dont Say
Dr.Kelsoyep.everyday,12:30, for 23 years
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Cox: What?
JD: I think the Larkins compliment each other, they are a good team. Kind of remind me of us
Cox: Roseanne, granted I was, as usual, only halfway listening to you but I got the sinking feeling you just compared us to a married couple. I know a girl can dream, but this is never going to happen
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, are you off for the day?
Elliot: Oh, I just didn't have a place to change
Laverne: Ummhmm
Dr. Kelso: Laverne, I am going to pretend you're not wearing that
Laverne: Don't you usually wait until you get home before you do that?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
JD: Luckily for Turk revenge is a dish best served cold, not unlike this tapioca pudding
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Dr.Cox: Jordan, please tell me you ate a racoon and it's slowly making its way through your digestive system
Jordan: Oh don't worry, it's not your baby, though not for lack of trying. See, we have sex a lot
-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=
Cox: Julie, this is my ex-wife Jordan. Jordan, this is my girlfriend Julie. Okay, that was a treat wasn't it? Now, would you like me to call you a cab or should I just whistle and have the flying monkeys bring the broom around?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Carla: You don't seem that stressed out
Elliot: Well, I haven't pooed in six days
JD: Twice this morning and I haven't even had my coffee yet
Elliot: You really pick odd things to brag about
JD: I'm just saying, if I had to get three by lunch I probably could
-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=
Dr.Cox: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh.... Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, 'The O.C.', the U.N., recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything, everything that exists, past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions....Oh! And Hugh Jackman
JD:(IN HEAD) Hugh Jackman's Wolverine! How dare he!
-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Molly: Do you wanna, uh, get a cup of coffee tonight?
Elliot: Can't, I'm hitting the internet hard and going on a friend hunt!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Ted: uh, im afraid youve but us at somewhat of a legal bind
Kelso: [pushing ted out of the way] good god you couldnt scare a child
Ted: [Quietly] Who would want to?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dr. Cox : [walking quickly through the cafeteria] I'm invisible, I'm invisible, I'm invisible...
Elliot : Oh, Dr. Cox?
Dr. Cox : Awww, dammmit!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dr. Kelso : I am considering offering full body scans here at Sacred Hearts. What do you think?
Dr. Cox : I think showing perfectly healthy people every harmless imperfection in their body just to scare them into taking an invasive and often pointless test is an... unholy sin!
Dr. Kelso : Yeah, sounds a little sketchy ethically.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Dr.Cox: Listen girlfriend, I don't want to hear your misguided romantic notions. You see for me, sex is a sport like racquetball. You play hard for half an hour, work up a sweat, and hope you don't get hit in the eye
Carla: Say what you want, I know that you care about her. In fact, I bet, that after you two are done playing racquet ball or talking or whatever you crazy kids are calling it you'd like nothing better than to just lie there and pass the time by watching her sleep
Dr.Cox: Carla, it's impossible to actually lie next to Jordan seeing how she sleeps hanging upside down from the ceiling wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings
Carla: That's nice!
-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=
[Eloit is about to kiss her boyfriend Paul, who is a male nurse,Dr.kelso walks past]
Eliot[Nervous]Nurse i need clean sheets straight away to room..one..one thousand
[Kelso Stops]
Paul oh she's covering because she's emberarrased that she likes a nurse and i cant figure out why.
Dr.Kelso Well Thats because your doing a Woman's job son..have a good one!
--=-=-=-=-==-==-=--=-=-=-==-=-=
(for Garyjohn3)
Dr. Cox: Hey, Camel Butt!... I heard you and Carla talking earlier.
Elliot: [sotto voce]: Frick on a stick with a brick! ...just leave.
Dr. Cox: Oh whoah now. What happened to, what happened to "Feisty Barbie"? Huh? You know it took me a helluva lot to shake off that tongue-lashing you gave me yesterday.
Elliot: Oh well, yesterday I had a mentor but she turned out to be insane. I mean, how am I supposed to take professional advice from someone who can't even hold together their personal life?
Dr. Cox: Look! I know you and I have never really "connected." Maybe that's because you are relentlessly annoying or maybe it's my fault because I can't tolerate relentlessly annoying people. I don't know! But answer me one question: Do you think I'm a good teacher?
Elliot: To some people.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough. Why don't we go ahead and take a look at my personal life: I am in love with a woman that I hate, my two year-old son calls me "Per-wee" and, this is something that I've never actually shared with anybody before but, on Saturday nights I like to throw on a nice dress, go out to dive-bars and insist that everybody call me "Mrs. Haberdasher."
Elliot: hah! No you don't!
Dr. Cox: Well, even if I did it wouldn't really matter since that has nothing to do with how good of a teacher I am. Stick with me here, Barbie! The point is that if you've finally found somebody who makes you believe in yourself as much as you did yesterday, well... I would think twice before I wrote that person off.
--------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------
Molly: I'm sorry, but I'm only attracted to damaged and dysfunctional people, and you're just to normal.
J.D.: (J.D's mind: Sometimes all it takes is a slamming hotty to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are) My emotional journey began when i walked in on my parents having sex in a position that my father would playfully describe as the jackhammer. I have a mentor that verbally abuses me at every chance he gets. And no matter how much i try, i cannot stop constantly narrating my life.
(J.D's mind: At that very moment, i feared i had divulged to much).
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=
JD.: I just Marcia Brady'd your ass.
Chris Turk : What the hell are you talking about?
JD: Like in the episode of the Brady Bunch where Marcia gets fired after Jan tells her boss...
Chris Turk: -DUDE, I know. Don't you ever question me on 'the Bunch'
-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-
Dr. Cox: Oh, gosh, Shannon, thank you so much for clarifying my point by repeating it word for word. And now, in a reciprocal gesture. Can I be included in the planning of your coming out party?
JD: Is that a gay joke?
Dr.Cox: No, it's a cotillion joke. My God, Newbie, it's been two furiously frustrating years-how is it possible that you still don't get me? I would never compare you to the gays. I like the gays-I like their music, I like their sense of style, I especially like what they've done with Halloween-but our thing is that you are a little girl. That's who you are. But that's really not fair...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Jordan I don't understand why you refuse to put on a hospital gown?
Ben: [in English accent] Because I don't like people to see my bum.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[Turk explains Papa Smurf's version of leadership]
Chris Turk : Smurfination, smurfination, and smurf.
JD: Presentation, inspiration, and fear?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Dr. Kelso: Jumping Jupiter, I sure do enjoy the tough love
Dr.Cox: They probably like it to there Bob, whether they admit it or not
Dr.Kelso: Well
Dr.Cox: Ah the old guy's so tough on me but I love him, right? right? They hate you Bob, they hate you from the bottom of your hooves to the top of your pitchfork, they hate you, dear god they hate you good
Laverne: (Laughs)
Dr. Kelso: What are you laughing at?
Laverne: That hooves and pitchfork part, why?
Dr. Kelso: No reason
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
JD: The hematopathologist (thunder) Hello?
Dr Bob: Call me Dr. Bob
JD: You go by your first name?
Dr Bob: No, first name's Fred
JD: Fred Bob!?!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-
Dr. Cox: I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.
-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
JD: Oh no! She's got a pink-hold! Eliot has the pinky strength of a rock-climbing jazz pianist.
-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-
Turk: Couples therapy is killing me.
Todd: I don't know how you do it! Make love with your lady in front of some old dude who's filming you?
Turk: That's not couples therapy Todd.
Todd: Then what did I do?
Turk: You did amateur porn!
Todd: Sweet.
-==-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-
Janitor: Heh, Photoshop, you can do anything. (holds up a photo) Here I have you wearing a ducks bill. Get it? Because you're a quack! Get it? Classic comedy my friend.=-
-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Jordan: Jack's fine, but the doctor said if the cut was four inches to the left and seven inches deeper, it could have potentially scratched his eye.
Dr. Cox: That was a close one.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Laverne: You have ONE DAY to get us another gorgeous irishman.
Todd: ONE DAY. (weird looks from JD and Turk) What? The Todd appreciates hot, regardless of gender.
-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
J.D.: Do you ever get the feeling that our patients pretend to be sicker when we're around.
Elliot: Oh yeah, you know Mrs. Wilson back there, she made her spline pretend to rupture, then she pretended to die.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
J.D.: Here's Ted, our brilliant hospital attorney.
Ted: Mark my words, Jake. We're going to take every last cent you have!
J.D.: Ted, we're on his side.
Ted: Oh... here's my card.
Jake: This is a Post-It.
Ted: I don't get real cards until I win a case.
J.D.: Go take a nap, Ted.
Jake: He spelled "attorney" wrong.
J.D.: "Buy groceries. Kill self."
Jake: Just admit it. You've been sent from the future to destroy me.
-==-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-
Miss Goldman: Why am I paying you to tell me things I've already figured out on my own?
Dr. Kelso: Maybe because I graduated first in my class at Stanford in 1972.
Miss Goldman: You graduated twelfth in your class in 1968.
Laverne: She Googled your ass.
Dr. Kelso: Laverne, I'm not interested in your street lingo. What I'm interested in is where she found that magic phone that keeps making me look like an idiot
-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dr. Cox: Tough there, Barbie. That was one potent combination of verbal diarrhoea and stunned silence.
Carla: You should have just asked him out. Men love that.
Dr. Cox: No, Carla. Men don't love that. It turns out we don't love picnics, foreplay, candles, baths, photo albums or when you drive so that we can "relax" and, as always, we're not that big on Hugh Jackman. Lookit, the only thing men actually care about as far as dating is concerned is "The Chase." If you want that guy to look your way, listen to me carefully, ignore the living hell out of him.
Carla: That's the worst advice I've ever heard!
Dr. Cox: Good point, Carla. Say, you don't happen to have any other gems you want to lay on us before you run off to couples therapy to sift through the wreckage that is the first year of your marriage, d'ya?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-
Dr. Cox: The woman is everywhere. She's there when I workout in the morning, when I workout in the car on the way to work and when I workout when I get to work. I can't seem to get away from her and that used to be fine when she just came around for five minutes every month or so to feed on my dignity, but now. I'd honestly kill myself, Bob, if I wasn't convinced that Jordan wouldn't already be there waiting for me in the afterlife. You see, typical of her, she went and signed us up for an eternal tandem bike ride all along the banks of the river Styx.
=-====================
(JD is running from Dr.Cox)
JD (IN HEAD) Hey do you know who i haven't seen today
(The Janitor puts his arm out knocking JD down in mid-run)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
SOUND-BYTE SECTION-NEW!!
(Temp. Non existant, looking ofr new sources)
========================
You can now check out some of my favourite episodes!
My Scrubs Episodes
NEW UPDATE JAN2006 - happy new year. Scrubs season 5 is airing in US and from what i've heard its pretty good. i will be posting new season 5 quotes soon! i had to get rid of the sound section but hope to re-build it.
Thx to everyone who has been reading , this Article has just hit OVER 116372 reads / hits, thankyou. i will keeping adding quotes and pictures, i try hard to keep this one going and keep looking like a real website page :) Keep reading for new quotes!!
I Have got rid of the gaps between the characters names and have bolded them to benefit Those with smaller screens, If you have any comments about the new layout please feel free to comment on them below
=-=-=UPDATED-=-=-
J.D.: Do you ever get the feeling that our patients pretend to be sicker when we're around.
Elliot: Oh yeah, you know Mrs. Wilson back there, she made her spline pretend to rupture, then she pretended to die.
Elliot: I started an 'I hate Cox' chatroom, The members didn't turn out exactly as I'd planned, Only me, two interns and fourteen thousand lesbians
(L) scrubs
Janitor: Door's broke, it's the fifth time this week it won't open.
JD: Maybe there's a penny stuck in there
Janitor: Why a penny?
JD: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there? If I find a penny in there I'm taking you down.
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
JD: Y'know how I am totally down with the rap music?
Turk: Dude... be whiter.
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
JD: How's it going?
Janitor: I'm 37 years old and I'm a janitor, how do you think it's going?
JD: Now there is nothing wrong with being a janitor.
Janitor: Thank you, you've turned my life around. I'm going to have to go tell my janitor wife and all our janitor kids that life is worth living and that comes straight from our hero, Doctor Who's-It, Doctor Nothing. No seriously, come on. You can come over to my house and point out things that are cheap.
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Cox: But if you ever do want to know my opinion, rest assured it will always be that you are an incredible pain and every time I see your kewpie doll face it just makes me want to pick you up and shake you until all the hours of my life that you've wasted fall out .
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Cox: I don't know if they taught you this in the land of fairies and puppy dog tails where you obviously, if not grew up, then at least spent most of your summers, but you're in the real world now! N'kay?
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
JD: Your ex-wife, she's the answer.
Cox: Umm... things that ruined my life, things that took half my money, things with sharp edges!
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Carla: You're right, he definitely has a cute little butt.
Elliot: It's almost like it's been sculpted.
JD: Who cares? Everyone has a cute butt, I have a cute butt.
Carla: You should bring it in someday.
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Janitor: You're stupid.
JD: That's it?
Janitor: Give it time, it'll eat at you.
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Turk: Who's da Man?
Ted: Is it me?
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Cox: I was just wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don't show.
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Janitor: Hey, from now on your name is Scooter.
JD: I don't get it.
Janitor: Short for scooter pie, I hate scooter pies.
JD: Oh, now I see.... (you big jerk.)
---
JD: She called me Bambi in front of everyone! My name is not Bambi!
Janitor: It's Scooter! ...Short for scooter pie.
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Cox: What are you saying? That you wanna be like me? Do you understand that I just barely want to be like me?
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Alex: You're so different from the guys I usually go out with.
JD: How so?
Alex: For starters, I'm still wearing pants.
JD: That's because I respect you, and also this triple knot I couldn't get out.
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Cox: Every time I shake my magic 8 ball and ask it "are we going to be best friends forever?", do you know what it says?
Turk: No.
Cox: Outlook is buh-leak.
Turk: Doctor Cox, you can't really trust those things. When I was nine I asked mine if I should crack it open and drink the fluid inside. I puked blue for like three days.
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Elliot: You wanna be alone?
JD: No.
Elliot: You wanna cry a little?
JD: No.
Elliot: You wanna throw things off the roof like Letterman used to do?
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Cox: Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak or do you find that you drift in and out?
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
JD: I actually have a great ass, it's firm like mutton.
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Elliot: Why can't couples these days just be together, you know?
Sean: Why is always about sex?
Elliot: Yes, Sean, yes!
Sean: You know Freud said that 90% of all human behavior is motivated by sexual impulses. Give me some credit, I would say at least 30% of my behavior is motivated by advertising and the rest by violence in film.
Elliot: For me it's 98% getting my dad to love me and 2% chocolate.
-=-=--=-====-=-=-=-=
Cox: The key to my exercise program is this one simple truth: I hate my body.
Turk: What?
Cox: Do you understand the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle.
Turk: You should give speeches to teenage girls.
"Dude... be whiter." That has to be one of the funniest lines I've heard in a long time! I should really check out this 'scrubs' show a little more.
Scrubs reminds me a lot of News Radio: a fine mix of physical, situational, verbal and character comedy. It has a wide emotional range and can often be touching. There are pop culture references up the Chumbawumba. Finely detailed characters with a complex interaction and "Oh my god are you there, it's me, Margaret" we're already heading into Scrubs' fourth season! Where did the time go? I cannot recall a bad episode (although some are weaker than others) and, this is of utmost importance, no laugh track. Plus they are Seinfeld-ian in their ability to deliver lines with the right rhythm, tempo and emphasis.
White characters sing George Michael, black characters sing Aaron Neville, there are references to CHiPs, "When Harry Met Sally" and (in one scene) both the song "Kung-Fu Fighting" and the Bat Cave. What more could you ask for? The Muppets, you say? It's had them too... and just a tittle of bestiality. Somehow the writers of the show all swim in the same pop-culture stew that I simmer in. Unfortunately it also reminds me of News Radio in the way that the show has been bounced around on the NBC schedule and then, once it landed on Thursdays, it was often shut out by the funerals of Friends and super-sized Will & Graces. In this upcoming season it will be on Tuesday nights.
Catch it before it, like everything else in life, starts to suck....
maybe I'll have to queue up the first season DVDs. But... my queue is already soooo long! :-(
Theres a fist season DVD Out!!?? where?
Oh, I dunno. Probably nowhere. I was just assuming they'd come out within the next couple years, if they weren't out already :-)
ah i see :)
Hey, there was a quote from Scrubs last season that Dr. Cox said to JD. It was something about "chugging along" and it was kinda inspirational. I want to use it as my senior quote, if anyone knows how it goes please let me know!!!
Good God, this is a good night for Listology and my favorite shows.
Wow. Watched an episode of Scrubs. Excellent writing, great comedic timing.
But somehow, it doesn't make me laugh out loud all the time like The Simpsons does. Perhaps it'll grow on me. We'll see.
your right, the writting on scrubs always impresses me. it deals with the sad moments but add just the right amount of the comedy too and there always a meaning and lesson to each episode, great stuff.
yeah watch a few more and lets hope it grows on you.
Which episode did you watch?
The one with Brendan Frasier where at the end you find out he has lukemia.
thats a good one, but also sad :(
HAHAHAHA! That quote about putting Turk on the cover twice is WAY funnier with more context. Just watched that episode. Maybe you should add
"(Turk recalls times when he's been singled out because he's black)" in there or something, and then explain that the two copies of himself are the only black people on the cover, among several whities. I dunno, maybe explaining too much would just ruin it, it's MUCH funnier in the actual episode.
yeah its one of the highlights of scrubs,it has me in stiches! yeah i'll try to explain it abit more but im worried about how to do it, but ill give it a shot.
though i also think that its always gonna be funnier on TV because its a visual joke so making funny here is hard
there i gave it my best shot
I am so relieved that the new season of Scrubs has started and (admittedly one show in) it remains suck free.
Dr. Cox : Mark my words, the first year of marriage is just a real treat. Sweetheart, do you remember ours?
Jordan : The silly fighting for control...
Dr. Cox : You broke my jaw!
Jordan : You gotta stop that kind of backtalk early. C'mon "Glass Jaw".
and
J.D. (sotto voce): As I fondled my pillow girlfriend Katia I thought about how things had changed for all of us.... [Sugar Hill Gang Alarm Clock goes off.]
And that's all before the opening credits.
I was just going to ask where the Jim Carrey Character Poll (that I was looking forward to) was. Thank goodness I checked... and thank you. I don't know how it slipped past me. I'm gonna blame somebody else... [stupid Welcome Wagon/*Recent Updates* page. I knew it would ruin me!]
I would like to make a request or two (or suggestions? or some other constructive word...) which would help me (and perhaps no one else, but this is all about me.)
Could you not skip lines (of text) between lines (of characters)? That way I can get more than two-and-a-half quotes on my screen at once. My screen may not be the largest (I've heard that it's not about the size but the dot pitch... and the motion of the ocean) and when you combine that with side bars and pictures I have to scroll down too much to read too few quotes. You've already thought to separate exchanges with a *-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=* line to make everything easier to read.
What might help with readability is to put the characters' names in bold, I know I do that with scripts. To babble on about readability: I have trouble reading the quotes that are all one big link. I think it's the underline and not the green/rust on white difference. If you could make the link on just the first character's name or on a hyper-text footnote at the end that might put my eyes at ease. I know that I'm being hypocritical because I did these two things somewhere up above but I was young and foolish then, now I'm old and foolish. Please forget and forgive... or just the first and nobody will remember my shortcomings.
ooh! I thought of another readability thing/peeve. If it's possible might you avoid updating the hit count on this page. I get all excited when I see *ARTICLE: My Scrubs Quotes (with Pics & Sounds) | Rushmore* and then there are no new quotes/sounds. It's probably just my eyes but I trip up over the bold update and the gray previous version when I'm trying to scan the *Recent Activity* page. However I do want to know when you get to a thousand hits (although four hundred of them might be mine) but not the daily count or when you bump up by two dozen.
As for me seeing more quotes per screen capture less (or no) pics would help, especially at the top with all of the side bar & google clutter. On a (more) selfish note I worry that people will be turned off, turn away or give up on a List with pics. I think the Scrubs quotes that you've chosen more than stand for themselves. This may just be a personal preference because I like linking to pics, giving readers the option to add visuals if they'd like, and saving bandwidth. It also forces me to write more descriptively. I've already used the line "I'm sure that in this case the exchange rate of a thousand words per picture would not apply, we all could make a killing on the word count market." I'm using it again because I thought it was clever and I crave approval.
I am SORRY that I have stayed conscious long enough to stream all this but I don't have the time to write a shorter note. (I fired my last editor for cutting a word.) Please don't feel that you have to respond to this, I know that you're great at keeping track of your pages and you shouldn't feel that you have to reply to every post. If I had to lay out everything that I liked about Scrubs Quotes it'd take longer and I'm lazy... and perhaps way outta line. forget... forget... forget....
ok, thankyou for our comments mate. np i wil make these changes. thankyou for all the kind words about my page, i do try to keep up with responding and updating, so thankyou for noticing :) glad my work isnt going un-noticed.
about the less lines issue. At first (for a VERY short while) i did NO gaps between names but i found that very confussing! so for the people reading i removed it. but your right it is unfair for people with smaller screens so i'll bold the names like you suggested and drop the gaps.
As for the pictures i will remove one and stop adding any more. i do like the pictures though but i dont want to get less people reading it, so ill stop adding pics from now on :(
ok, the hits thing. yeah the hits was just my way of thanking eveyone for reading. when this page started out it only had 15 - 20 hits for about 2 month, then it became 40 - 50 600 - 700!
so as a thankx i added that on there . i would like to keep it up there but i'll tick the "Do Not bump to recent pages" box when i just add the hits and then not tick it when i add new qoutes / sounds.
i hope ive been able to help. i will make these changes. i try to keep this page updated alot and try to make it most like a real site (as if it was a site on its own) but thanks for the comments :)
bb
(ps-thankyou to the links to my other pages, that was very kind :-}
...and thank you. I'm glad you're not Brahms and Liszt. I find linking to you is the best way to keep up with your material 'cause of your bituminous posts.
JD : Anyway, this is the end of a major chapter in our lives and you know what? I am going to take you out tonight, yes sir, we are going to get some dinner, we'll get a nice bottle of wine
Turk : It sounds like you are asking me out on a man-date
J.D. : Turk, why are you so afraid of loving me?
J.D. : By the way, Carla, I know an amazing Journey cover band you should get them to play your reception
Carla : Bambi, not everyone loves Journey as much as you
J.D. : I don't love Journey
Turk : She's just a small town girl
J.D. : *Living in a lonely world, she took a midnight train going anywhere...* Fine, I love them. If you want to book the band they are called The Lovin'n Touch'n Squeeze'n's and they rock. Book them now, thank me later
J.D. : *...Well I guess it would be nice, if I could touch your body-* Not you, sir *-I know not everybody has got a body like you Ohhh But-*
Turk : Dude, what's the rule about white guys dancing in public?
J.D. : Not allowed unless you're gay
Basketball Player : I'm gonna toast you so bad you're mama ain't even going to recognize you
J.D. : Well I heard you're sister started drinking again. [Basketball Player goes to Turk for a hug.] (sotto voce): I'm still not great at smack talk. So it's not supposed to be true?
Turk : Oh, let it pour, big guy...
ok, ive bolded and made got rid of the gaps, ive got rid of one of the pictures and i am thinking about your link idea. i would like to keep the cast pictures at the bottom but my likn the other ones, hope this has made it easier for you (and many others) to read.
In that episode where the polyphonic Spree come to the hospital and play in that one room, one guy has a THEREMIN. That makes me soooo happy in a giddy, silly way.
Didn't they use a theremin in "The Day The Earth Stood Still"? Cause just listening to it makes you start giggling like nuts.
Oh, I'm sure. It seems they use a theremin in nearly all 50s and 60s sci-fi movies. :-)
Theremins have had an eclectic and a singularly epic history in popular music.
This American Life did a fine program on the Classifieds where Starlee Kine assembles a one-day-band through the classified ads to cut a cover of Rocketman. It features Eric the Amazing Theremin Player... as well as an acid funk conga player and an electric violinist writing a rock opera about a conspiracy theory (and that is all that he is at liberty to say about it) ...not to mention four other musicians.
In the episode where Elliot has Bruce do the beatbox for Dr. Kelso, does anyone know the lyrics he threw in?
i'm not sure mate,I'll do some research!
Can anyone post Dr. Cox's quote that started out, "We've never really connected....." from the show that aired this week (9/28/04).
yeah, im in UK and i haven't seen that show yet but i'll try to find it for you mate, no problem
garyjohn3, i'm still searching high and low for the quote so please bare with me.
sorry for the delay-hope to get it soon
Thanks Rushmore, I'll be patient. You are my only hope. I think that Dr. Cox makes the statement to Elliot, but I'm not sure. How much later do you get the shows after thay air here in the US?
well seasons 1 2 3 were pretty soon after, 2 months afterthey finish in US (maybe less).
cool, thx for the tip i'll search for the date as i've been doing and then the charaters names also.
hope i will find it soon.
hi garyjohn mate.
ok i've searched and searched and because it was only a week ago or so, i'm finding it hard to find quotes and video streams of it.
but i did find these 2 quotes form that episode "Her Story":
Dr. Cox: The next minute you find yourself alone, I will kill you.
JD: It was worth it.
Dr. Molly Clock: Show me a guy who wants to get married, has a good job - and it's like snoozeville for me. But if you know a 35-year-old who still lives at home with his mom and he still thinks his band can make it - tell me where to meet him so I can buy him dinner.
------------
was it one of those?
i dont think it was what you were describing though so i'm still looking.
Hi R,
No actually it isn't. I think that was from the previous week's show.
I'm pretty sure the one I'm looking for was a scene where Dr Cox was at odds with Elliot. Is there a place on the web where one can monitor the video streams?
Cheers
ah! i found this one from episode "my office"
Elliot: Doctor Cox! Could you come take a look at my patient's rash, its really weird.
Dr. Cox: Oh I would love to come take a look at your patients rash, but also, if time allows, maybe we could go over some preliminary ideas for your wedding dress.
Elliot: I have sketches in my locker.
Dr. Cox: Psst... Barbie, listen carefull because the policy remains unchanged, unless someone is dying, and pa-lease note dying, not dead, I'm not interested. And P.S., just a real strong showing for a chief resident candidate. God mighty!
---------------------
was it that?
and i looked for video steams and couldnt find too many but HERE is a trusted site that great and i look at and use alot. here you might find some videos, i know they do interview videos
Hi Rush,
I'm afraid not that one, but it looks like 0dysseus nailed it. Thanks loads for trying and finding it!
Dr. Cox: Hey, Camel Butt!... I heard you and Carla talking earlier.
Elliot: sotto voce: Frick on a stick with a brick! ...just leave.
Dr. Cox: Oh whoah now. What happened to, what happened to "Feisty Barbie"? Huh? You know it took me a helluva lot to shake off that tongue-lashing you gave me yesterday.
Elliot: Oh well, yesterday I had a mentor but she turned out to be insane. I mean, how am I supposed to take professional advice from someone who can't even hold together their personal life?
Dr. Cox: Look! I know you and I have never really "connected." Maybe that's because you are relentlessly annoying or maybe it's my fault because I can't tolerate relentlessly annoying people. I don't know! But answer me one question: Do you think I'm a good teacher?
Elliot: To some people.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough. Why don't we go ahead and take a look at my personal life: I am in love with a woman that I hate, my two year-old son calls me "Per-wee" and, this is something that I've never actually shared with anybody before but, on Saturday nights I like to throw on a nice dress, go out to dive-bars and insist that everybody call me "Mrs. Haberdasher."
Elliot: hah! No you don't!
Dr. Cox: Well, even if I did it wouldn't really matter since that has nothing to do with how good of a teacher I am. Stick with me here, Barbie! The point is that if you've finally found somebody who makes you believe in yourself as much as you did yesterday, well... I would think twice before I wrote that person off.
This is my favourite quote/scene!!
WHEELCHAIR RAMP
Dr. Cox: What?
J.D.: It's 3 o'clock! 3 o'clock's when you announce new chief resident, so we thought you might want--
Dr. Cox: Barbie. You're chief resident.
J.D.: [high-pitched laugh] Very funny!
Dr. Cox: So not joking.
Elliot: [shrieks] Yay! Oh, my God, now I know how Liza Minelli felt! When she won the Oscar, not when she married that gay, pan-faced alien.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, how ya doin'?
J.D.'s Thoughts: Keep it together. It's be a man time.
J.D.: No, no. I totally understand. Come on, you did what you had to do. You went with your gut; Elliot's a great doctor. I do have three questions, though: Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love? Who's gonna tell my mom? And what the hell am I supposed to do with ten thousand "John Dorian, Chief Resident" business cards!?!?!
Dr. Cox: Yeah, Scarlett? You're chief resident too.
J.D.: Uh, what now?
lololol great quote. i love how Dr.Cox can completely strike fear in them! great choice here.
Still love the page. I took the Personality Test and it resulted in Dr. Cox. I was not thrilled so I immediately took it again (changing the borderline answers)... it came up Dr. Kelso. I was much less than thrilled but afraid to take it again. I really think that I'm Ted the Lawyer and not just because of my past life.
JD: Oh no! She's got a pink-hold! Eliot has the pinky strength of a rock-climbing jazz pianist.
:) lol. i took it and i was Carla! I see myself as Ted also. nice quote, very funny its in!
I can just barely stand it when I post a typo... but when that typo is propagated I'm unable to deal with the guilt. "Pinky hold!" I meant to write "She's got a pinky-hold!"
Frick on a stick with a brick...
lol :-)
J.D.: Here's Ted, our brilliant hospital attorney.
Ted: Mark my words, Jake. We're going to take every last cent you have!
J.D.: Ted, we're on his side.
Ted: Oh... here's my card.
Jake: This is a Post-It.
Ted: I don't get real cards until I win a case.
J.D.: Go take a nap, Ted.
Jake: He spelled "attorney" wrong.
J.D.: "Buy groceries. Kill self."
Jake: Just admit it. You've been sent from the future to destroy me.
-==-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-
Miss Goldman: Why am I paying you to tell me things I've already figured out on my own?
Dr. Kelso: Maybe because I graduated first in my class at Stanford in 1972.
Miss Goldman: You graduated twelfth in your class in 1968.
Laverne: She Googled your ass.
Dr. Kelso: Laverne, I'm not interested in your street lingo. What I'm interested in is where she found that magic phone that keeps making me look like an idiot.
lol those are both great! thankyou. man i love scrubs! what episode is the first quote from? season 4? i just want to say that scrubs has really supassed itself on it's 4th season, this is turning out to be the best yet.
The first one is from (one of) the most recent one(s) "My Faith in Humanity."
I agree that Scrubs has been excellent this season but I think that it's back on its heels a bit. "My Life in Four Cameras" just made me wish that I was watching a great single camera sitcom... like Scrubs. My wish to see Clay Aiken squashed to death in a sandwich surrounded by two-ton slices of white bread and milquetoast, pierced by a club frill made from a torchiere, remains fairly constant and can't be said to have helped matters. "My Female Trouble" and "My Quarantine" weren't all that helpful either.
Scrubs is still the best thing on American network television... but it's no longer a revelation show after show but only every other show. That's pretty good in my book.
I would like to see more Jordan and more Ted (and less Elliot... unless it's time with Dr. Clock.) We're all gonna have to hammock up.
Im looking for a quote, from what i believe is the 4/20 episode. Dr Cox is talking to barbie and Carla, telling them what guys like/dont like. It was hysterical, and i need it :)!
ok np, i'll search for it!
Dr. Cox: Tough there, Barbie. That was one potent combination of verbal diarrhoea and stunned silence.
Carla: You should have just asked him out. Men love that.
Dr. Cox: No, Carla. Men don't love that. It turns out we don't love picnics, foreplay, candles, baths, photo albums or when you drive so that we can "relax" and, as always, we're not that big on Hugh Jackman. Lookit, the only thing men actually care about as far as dating is concerned is "The Chase." If you want that guy to look your way, listen to me carefully, ignore the living hell out of him.
Carla: That's the worst advice I've ever heard!
Dr. Cox: Good point, Carla. Say, you don't happen to have any other gems you want to lay on us before you run off to couples therapy to sift through the wreckage that is the first year of your marriage, d'ya?
-==-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-
Turk: I am going to yank that gall-bladder out of you so fast that your spleen is going to say to your kidney, "What the hell happened to Frank!?" That's right, your kidney named your gall-bladder "Frank."
Oh! Let me just mention that all of the product placement is starting to drive me out of my mind.
thx mate, i did try to find it, thx.
Dr. Cox: The woman is everywhere. She's there when I workout in the morning, when I workout in the car on the way to work and when I workout when I get to work. I can't seem to get away from her and that used to be fine when she just came around for five minutes every month or so to feed on my dignity, but now. I'd honestly kill myself, Bob, if I wasn't convinced that Jordan wouldn't already be there waiting for me in the afterlife. You see, typical of her, she went and signed us up for an eternal tandem bike ride all along the banks of the river Styx.
Nice quote, thankyou. i pre-ordered my copy of the dvd from playusa but i wish i had used a UK supplier of R1 dvds now because i hear that people who did, already have a copy !! :( oh well. are you buying the dvd?
(in answering Todd date propsoal)
Elliot: No Todd - i won't go out with you. And it's not because i'm a lesbain or because i just got out of a relationship. It's because i find you so creepy i think you should walk around with a bell tied around your neck.
LOve it - scrubs is awesome and the lines are great!
I just saw My Lunch. What a brilliant episode!
yes, it's so great. so many great moments just in that one episode. That's what season 4 was missing, a big emotional episode that impacted on the characters. whats your overall impression of s5 then?
Still got three left (just watched My Fallen Idol, the one after My Lunch) but so far I've really liked it. It didn't reach the lofty heights of S1-3 but it was better than the somewhat disappointing S4, and the actors in particular are all still on top form. How do you think it compared?
I'd give S5 9/10 compared to S4's 8/10 and S1-3's 10/10
Well it was deff crazier than most seasons, but i felt it worked well this time. Keith for one was a great addition to the cast. But as i said, i think the episode ark they gave to Dr.cox (my lunch / my fallen idol) really hepled the show get back to it's root of effective writting that S4 lacked. there are some charatcers that i think go a little too far on this season, such as Jordon who becomes bit of a joke compared to how interesting she was in seasons 1-3. but overall a great season , that well being totally out there can still pack a punch.
did you like the wizard of Oz episode?
I do agree about Jordan, and based on S5 she'd be my least favourite character. I also think there was too little of Ted, and Todd descended into self-parody a little.. but they're minor quibbles. Yep, I did like the Wizard of Oz parody! Did you? Have you seen any S6 yet?
yup i did enjoy the wizard of oz one, very cool. Extended cut was also good.
oh and i have too say another highlight was His Story III through Janitor's eyes, that was fantastic. The "things would be different if i wasn't around" with the pregnant nurse, being IMO one of funniest jokes scrubs has ever done, my stomach hurt after laughing so much when i first saw that bit but the episode in itself is one of the better ones of S5
i've seen over half of S6 i'd say, its pretty solid. It starts on E4 on 28th, i will say i wasn't big fan of the musical episode in S6, so be interested to get your thoughts on that after you've watched it., but i'm guessing you'll wait for the DVD.
About to watch the Extended Cut now. I'll let you know what I think.
His Story III was indeed superb, the Janitor stuff was hilarious.
I imagine I'll wait for the DVD as usual (everyone I know hates that I always wait as they can't discuss 'what happened last night' around me!) - but, who knows? Seeing as I'm completely up to date now I might tune in for the E4 airings.
As for Todd's self-parody, I hope you're not talking about his role in My Lunch. I loved that subplot. The last line Todd has in that episode is just brilliant.
If you're talking about Todd's self-parody in the random scenes he pops up in, I think those descended into self-parody in the middle of the 1st season, but I still find him hilarious.
Oh, I definitely wasn't talking about his plot in "My Lunch", that was home to the best Todd plot of the season.
Awesome - this is the second result in Google for "scrubs quotes"!
what is the episode where elliot says to Dr. Cox
"oh you think your funny?" and dr cox says "actually i do, its one of the reasons im a winner."
i have all the seasons and i havent run across it yet...i cant remember what episode he said that in but its hilarious!
hey mate, according to IMDB its episode 13 of season 6 "my Scrubs"
its a great quote
ok what about the one where its janitor and elliot in the bathroom and she asks him if he would change everything about him if he could and he says "no im a winner"
The Best Quote Has Got To Be When Dr. Cox Say's, Either This Guy Has A Light Bulb Up His But Or His Colan Has A Great Idea!.